I found out that until you have lost your mother things are just what they are. There is something about a mothers loss that does something to your heart and increases the hurt. The real truth is that all death brings some type of pain for those who have to live without their love one in person. But even if you are going through something because of a love one that you have lost, you don't have to wallow in that grief.
Grieving is good and it helps us to balance out our natural tendencies to want to be either too much or too little involved emotionally when someone passes away. But you have to know what is healthy and unhealthy. So without going into all of the clinical assertions of what's good and what's not good, know that hurting after you've lost a love one is NORMAL and don't shy away from that. But if it is taking you away from your everyday things, and you are no longer interested in things that held your interest before, further dampening your life's mission that too is a problem.
What you can do is:
1. Continue to celebrate who they were and are
2. Create a fund or memorial in their name, and tell stories to others about who they were.
3. Acknowledge your hurt, and get some help if you need to
4. Remember what they brought to your life and trust God as you go
5. Never think that it is over...for there is always an opportunity to start a new chapter.
So grieve, cry but remember it is well, and they are well too. Treasure the gift that they left whichis still in you.
Love you mom and totally miss you FOREVER...Your Daughter the one who you gave the name The Peoples Therapist.